A Loveless Relationship

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A Loveless Relationship

by ThatWoman @ 2008-05-05 - 11:43:23

Right I'd better start fathoming some of the basic confusion in my mind.

Can someone explain to me:

Why two people continue to stay together and yet emotionally tear each other apart?

Why two people continue to stay together when they have little or no interest in one another?

Why do people have affairs rather than free themselves from a failed relationship first?

Why did I have to fall for a married man when it was something I vowed never to do?

Why oh why?

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kevinwilson ^pro
2008-05-05 @ 12:03

i think fear is a big factor in the first three questions. as for your final question ... i don't know why we do illogical things, but just because it's illogical doesn't make it wrong.

best wishes for your new blog.

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ThatWoman [Member]
2008-05-05 @ 12:11

That's an interesting response.

Thank you.

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pollygarter [Member]
2008-05-06 @ 00:15

Such big questions...
I think the first three questions are for 'him'.
As for the last - As my friend once said - "Never say 'Never'"
Good luck at working out what you can and keeping your sanity and self-esteem.
Polly
xx

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ThatWoman [Member]
2008-05-06 @ 07:45

It's my self-esteem that's at stake here - you've hit the nail right on the head!

I cannot feel free to give 100% to someone who cannot give me it back in equal measure.

I could carry on having pleasant little interludes with a man who loves me to bits but in between times I'm eaten away by the fact that he goes home to his wife.

Thank you.

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deleted user [Visitor]

2008-05-06 @ 13:46

Well the top 3 i keep asking myself because at times it seems exactly as you say, The bottom one i can't answer i have never been married but life has a habit of shaking our ideals and values that they become clouded at times.

Either way welcome to Blogland and hope people make you feel as welcome as they have made me feel

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ThatWoman [Member]
2008-05-07 @ 10:43

Thank you for making me welcome and not passing judgement on me.

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deleted user [Visitor]

2008-05-08 @ 10:25

I never pass judgement on anyone, i just try to treat people the way i would like to be treated. Your posts are very similar to my position.

Be lucky

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ThatWoman [Member]
2008-05-08 @ 13:37

Thank you - I hope your situation resolves

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sidejump [Member]
2008-05-06 @ 17:37

In answer to the first 3, I would say, "because it is easier".
People stay together for the children, or because they share property, or because of their social standing, or because one thinks the other will fall apart if they leave, or because they don't want to rock the boat. There is no one reason probably. And the last question is as I answered in your next post, we cannot help who we fall in love with

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ThatWoman [Member]
2008-05-07 @ 10:46

Yes the easy option seems a good description. Why rock the boat if you can come up with a workable alternative?

I could deal with that but I don't expect his wife would see it that way!

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rubychoo [Member]
2008-05-08 @ 02:12

Missed one...

Couples also stay together (married or not) because they love each other...

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sidejump [Member]
2008-05-08 @ 16:59

ah, but then they wouldn't be tearing each other apart, disinterested in each other, or in a failed relationship, which were the questions I was answering.

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